funny stories

woman and a Baby

2010-05-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
Finally the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
"Breast-fed" she replied.
"Well! , strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. big boobs
She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

Male and Female Prayers

2010-05-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, Lesbian Porn
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

The pearly Gates

2010-05-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Big Boobs
Saint Peter said, "you may pass through the pearly gates."
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
The man replied, "They're Carol's."

My heart is flying

2010-03-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog Tiger. Now, fireworks still exist and hit with New Year's Eve compared outside. But are the sounds of fireworks, is not that the happy atmosphere deafening. But Chinese people always have even Don 't fade away. This Festival will take about ten days until the Lantern Festival. Before i my article, I want to Hello foreigners in China to celebrate the spring with Festival ahead. One Stay Lunar New Year mean to start looking Festival Spring Gala of CCTV is a necessity for most Chinese do. Each year the gala, there are many wonderful programs executed by the stars. Although the director never, never be accused by some critics at the gala, the masses to enjoy the eve of Lunar New Year year. This a caricature of a deep and lasting impression on the name Me. Then my heart, which is an animated cartoon story featured on a female fate during preparation for the Grand Parade of the National Day of permanent arrangement year. According last, fate will take place in the past fly and pilots flying over the Tiananmen Square three flights. Each flight training will consist of five fighter jets. The problem arises, the operator will lose the flight demonstration exciting because there are 16 pilots in this squadron, and couldn't leave the introduction of the leaders of the inspection and the masses to accept the time-in-a unique opportunity. But that is still standing, serving as a bench warmer? The commander of the fleet, I can decision. All women pilots were very good and chose could be tens of thousands of them in this job. At candidates. Each last the squadron commander at the end of the center view of a pilot program, excellent one. She could be anywhere in the decision to accept any kind of driver education flight. This fly. It meant that every time I removed the jet fighter fight with five other militants within the standard range of motion of the air if there is no hunting of other problems, which was only starting to return to their base to escort the next group of fighters. This is a kind of punishment for pilot. In cartoon, with the comfort of the driver, who is left, the other pilots decided to put the drivers name on their uniforms only. And when I drew the lines, I was moved tear. The lines: When I fly, fly fly too. Your that can be compared to my flying. I is available to the driver, who was to occupy left. She is a big girl who is the opportunity afforded others. In modern words, should be called team spirit. Although the picture is not combatants in the registers of the parade. People left the national do not forget this beautiful girl at the end of comedy sketches, the whole lot came in the middle of the first stage girl. was that the pilots had left. And I think the face is most central to all Chinese left. His heart will flying. My heart and your heart is flying. For what? For better future of our country.